


Haze

by RainbowNanaki



Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Not Beta Read, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:01:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27875746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainbowNanaki/pseuds/RainbowNanaki
Summary: As his mind wandered – stumbled, really – he felt his hands begin to tremble as his teeth rapidly went numb.A micro piece exploring a little bit of Cloud's mental space at the start of Final Fantasy VII. Inspired by my own experiences.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Haze

Friendship was a foreign concept to Cloud. He only ever got into fights with the other kids in Nibelheim, and he never connected with anyone during his time spent working for Shinra. He really only knew how to rely on himself. He had Tifa, he supposed, as someone watching out for him. However, the whole ‘watching’ part was the problem. For someone so busy running a bar and involved in this AVALANCHE shit, she certainly did stare at him a lot. He was sure it came from a place of caring, or at least the kind of obligatory caring one has for their childhood… Well, they called it friendship, but they were really more like acquaintances. One he had made a promise to many years ago but acquaintances nonetheless. However, she treated him with an odd sort of fragility, as though he was made of porcelain or glass. He felt like he was being scrutinized. Like something was wrong. Like—

_No._

As his mind wandered – stumbled, really – he felt his hands begin to tremble as his teeth rapidly went numb.

_SOLDIER. First Class._

The job, that’s what he had been thinking about, right? AVALANCHE? It had to be, he couldn’t get their garbage ‘payment plan’ out of his head. He needed the money, but so the gig had started out ‘payment up front’, which morphed into ‘half now, half after’, and was now firmly sitting at ‘half… After the next job’.

Tch.

At least he had a place to stay where he didn’t have to worry about rent or hotel fees, but sharing a basement with whatever other AVALANCHE members happened to stumble in was hardly ideal. If he actually got paid, he could afford the privacy he so desperately craved. He was exhausted from people constantly asking him if he was okay. Nobody down here was okay, so what even was the point of asking?

Beyond the staring beyond the questions, there was also the whispering. Cloud wasn’t an idiot, he knew the others talked about him. Barret’s profanity-filled complaints didn’t bother him, he had learned to let such things roll off him from childhood. It was everyone else, the way they would go quiet whenever he entered a room, the way he was treated as though something was wrong with him.

Sure, sometimes he got a little confused, he had a tendency to stare off into space when overwhelmed, and was occasionally plagued by migraines, but that was it. He was no worse than any of the other people he found himself currently associating with.

He was fine.

...Wasn’t he?

**Author's Note:**

> Brains are complicated, y'all. I might eventually do a longer FFVII fic, but I'm not 100% sure on a plot yet, so I figured I'd post this piece that I've had in my Google docs since, uh, September ^^; Please feel free to reach out if you're interested in seeing more, or just if you want to chat! My Instagram and Twitter UN is the same as here, and my DMs are always open. Sometimes I even post fanart??


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